Sexuality and its Price: The “Uglies”
Mom is explaining to dad the traditional way would have been to bring her whole family with her to live off her so-called husband. Although he shows gratitude, it is contradicted by the grin and the dropping of the eye. She even reminds him why she is entitled to live off of him by using the words, “your uglies.” She addresses his private parts in this manner because he has used them before with her and now with someone else. I think she would have accepted him using his “uglies” with another woman, but he was using them with another man. This went on until his death.
As a woman, she made a huge sacrifice for her husband and her family. As a human being, she lost her own identity. She was absorbed into her husband. She lost her sense of self. She was treated and allowed herself to be treated like a non-person. She forgot about her own hopes and dreams. The plans she once had for her future with her husband and family were abandoned.
His aspirations for life became the most important thoughts in their household. She became the shell of her former self. She was lifeless going through the motions of homemaker and mother. I can’t even say wife because with that word comes attachment to another human being. They were no longer attached, if in fact they ever were connected to each other. He was surely connected, but not to her.
That’s the reason for the obsession with the home and with cleaning and everything in its place, etc. He was purifying himself. He needed his wife and children to put up the front of normality. He was no more normal than Jeffrey Dommer was loving and kind.
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